The New English

For all of you English teachers. Hear is something for laughs or shall we say lafs. European English:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English":

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl .

nota kaki: Got this from my friend Balqis.

Mija

Satu hari sambil buat kerja biarkan si Mija dalam exercise ball... sekali dia puya raound satu rumah... masuk dapur, masuk bilik... last-last diam je dalam bilik.. rupanya tersangkut celah timbunan kain baju J yang belum lipat... huhuhu...

Penipu

Yesterday... I caught a pupil CHEATING!!! It was not her first attempt but THIRD. She managed to got away for the first two cheats. Well... What did she cheated on? The previous on was her English and Mathematics Intervensi 2 exam papers. She managed to took back the English papers both paper 1 and paper 2 and seek help from he elder sister to do it for her. And, the maths paper, she scribbled "the other girl that she hates' " paper after copying the answers. I just coouldn't believe it, to know that all those so called clever actions were done in the staffroom.

It was indeed an unfortunate day for her yesterday. As I was seating in the staffroom calculating the attendance in the record book at my table and I saw her opening a box underneath my colleague's table from the corner of my eyes. Suddenly I remembered, I overheard my colleague said to place the answer and question papers on his table after completing it.

I quickly called her and had a session of interrogation. Of course she would deny. Instead she gave an excuse that she's looking for a stapler. Takkan la nak cari staple dalam kotak bawah meja kan???? Tak logik sungguh. So... I took her paper and stapled it for her. Then I opened the box and aaa..... I saw a stack of question papers dan the top one looked like it was forcely inserted. I took out the paper and Got you this time! All the answers were totally same!

Unfortunate for her again.. her mother was there at school, to meet the class teacher.... habisla... konpem kena belasah balik rumah tu...

nota kaki: berani sungguh budak-budak sekarang.. dalam bilik guru pun berani buat projek... Yang buat sakit hati tu.. dia boleh buat muke rilek jer.. rase nak sepak pun ada!!!